i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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