do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
