marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i was born a porn star she said
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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