i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
