their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
