I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize