Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
