Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize