He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
