I need help removing her.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I still have a little drunk in my system
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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