Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
