is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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