My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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