he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
