trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
