he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
tell me about the fingering
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
