my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
