talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
