I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we're making bets on your personal life
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
