a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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