dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize