People in love make me want to vomit
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
