dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
