watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
