She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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