The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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