his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
