Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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