He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
