I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
