writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
