no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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