dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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