This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
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After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
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I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
We're too hungover to prance.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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