it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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