I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
