Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize