you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize