if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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