Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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