i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize