Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
