Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize