How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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