He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i now understand why vodka
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
