So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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