You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
