i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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