But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
