WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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