you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize