Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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