Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize