i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
