You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
