plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
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Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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