it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
