That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
